i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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