Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
