how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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