who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
