I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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