wakey wakey hands off snakey
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
