I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
