HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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