whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
a search helicopter?!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
