Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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