You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
