I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
