The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
