I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
