Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
