She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
