wakey wakey hands off snakey
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
