I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
