real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
