This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
