He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
