he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
