After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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