Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
tequila makes me forget i have legs
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
