:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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