you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
