Don't make out with my wife yet
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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