It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
