just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
