Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
