It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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