This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am mentally ready for anal.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
