Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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