i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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