Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
