We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You ruined the universe
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
