the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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