you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
