idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
