some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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