farters have to be the big spoon...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
