she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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