Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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