Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
