That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
