she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
