I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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