But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
