i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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