so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
